First of all,
This is probably the last thing I should be doing, yet it should be the first.
I haven't really taken time to actually write (be it written on the computer or in pen in a journal) my thoughts about the last few weeks. Writing is a good thing, and I've been procrastinating...even tonight, I waited till 11:10 to begin writing, while spending time searching facebook, and e-mails, and other blogs...
I will finish reading Discipline the Glad Surrender by Elizabeth Elliot soon.
I'm not exactly sure how I feel. Because my mood goes UP and then DOWN, I still feel like I haven't processed everything all the way through. Totally. Settled in my mind, spirit, deep down in my soul. I can't wrap my head around it. And, I can't stay sad (which is a good thing).
My friend isn't here anymore. She's with Jesus. She was stolen from me, but I will not let Satan steal my joy, my faith, my hope, my life. She will be with me always in my heart. How I loved her so.
I find hope in Jesus--knowing that one day soon I'll see my Amy again. No, I won't be able to share my hopes with her, or talk about our precious Saviour on the phone , or have sleepovers outside, I won't be able to go to the thrift stores with her, or see a new God inspired painting she drew, or sit in the car and laugh and eat icecream....or run in the rain in Costa Rica....or sing a song on stage without her there....
But, I'll see her in Heaven where she is smiling and singing and praising Jesus---where she isn't confused anymore, where she isn't suffereing with the flu anymore, where she IS whole and new, with the Jesus she always talked about, with the God who made her strong in standing on the front lines for abortion for so many years, with God who gave her inspiration.....
My little mind can't fathom the outcome of a dear friend being stolen away from this life. But you know what?
God holds me in the palm of HIS hands. I will continue to serve Him in spite of not understanding why. I who am left will press on to the upward calling the Lord has placed on my life. I will run and not grow weary. I will walk and not faint. The Lord is my strenght. I will continue to love people well. I will continue to love my God even if He allows me to not have anyone. May I be able to firmly grasp hold of Jesus who is the author and finisher of my faith is spite of whatever He allows to happen in the life He has given me. The life that is truly HIS.
SELAH.
I talked with Daniel a few weeks (last week?) ago. That was good. I talked with Carrie and Alex today. Never put off what can be done today. If you feel like calling a friend, call them. REally make sure you know what's going on in their lives. Don't let them become sheltered.
On a positive happy note, my friend from IL is coming in May! I'm really glad she's coming to visit for 10 days.
No more Psychology class!
I love Ashley Hudson.
I'm sad Mrs. Paulus is leaving. Very very sad. Maybe I'll have to contact the Commander in Chief with a list of names that proves the Paulus family just can't leave. I mean, what do New Mexican's want with a girl who knows so much about homeschooling, and a guy who loves his wife so much that he won't let her fold his laundry? (oops, did I say that?) Moore Expressions will never be the same without you, Kt. Though I must part with you I want you to know that you've really meant alot to me. Talking, chocolate, sharing, smiling, wedding, faith, crying (ok, I did most of the crying part)
and it all happened in a bookstore...
goodnight fellow friends, aquaintances, chums, and plums.
Ok, i do believe it's bed time for me. I get to sleep in tomorrow.
