a few spare moments

Well, I totally didn't plan to blog exactly 1 month after I blogged last time. I just had a few spare moments to myself. It's just me and the house. I love these nights. Quiet and still. The fan spinning. The computer humming. Alone time with me. The house smells of waffles.  I've been too busy. Again. The cycle. Too many late nights and early mornings. 

So since my last post, I've decided to go to the Stand by Night Internship at the Prayer Furnace in Fredricksburg.  The time is now. If I were to wait any longer, it just wouldn't be right. I feel like this internship will be the catalyst, the launching point, to point me in the exact place the Lord want's me. And I thought that was more fully in the House of Prayer. But, I'm beginning to think it's something different. My heart will be with the house of prayer and I will be involved to some degree, but I know there is something more. Something much more that hasn't been shown to me yet. I'm really in a place where I must fully trust the Lord in a time where there is no specifics given and money needed.  He is my Provider so I won't worry. I'll remember His faithfulness to me. And as a Beloved sister in Jesus reminded me yesterday, it's His heart that I must have, not just my heart, because in the end, doing things in my own strength will result in weariness, discouragement, lack of focus, and zeal.  I MUST have His heart and walk in HIS ways (for they aren't my ways, nor are they my thoughts).  But, I have the mind of Christ. Yes, dear ones, we have the mind of Christ.  

God is speaking. And it's really cool. A wedding/ Discernment for the one/ A bold voice/one who is a leader in the ending of abortion/the weight of His glory/mothering and loving the broken 

I'm excited about what the Lord is going to do in this next season. And the season to come. 

Takeaways from Groundhog Day

I've had quite a lot of downtime the last few days as I've been resting. In all my resting I've watched several episodes of Monk (much could be said about this show as well) and watched the film Groundhog Day. 


Well, there are several, yes, several, takeaways and thoughts I have from this film.


We must remember: 
"Whatever things are true, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, THINK on these things." Philipians 4



Weather men.  How much trust we place in them! We (the church) are more concerned with the weather than preparing ourselves for THE hour. When instead we should be waking up to realize the season we are living in, the season that will come, walking in hope rather than in fear. 


Groundhogs. Really? Yes, it's a funny thing most of us don't believe in, but there are those out there that really do.  They BELIEVE in groundhogs. Do we want to be a people walking in reality or do we so often place ourselves in situations where we laugh at what is not reality? and thus put our approval on what is not reality  


Immorality. So, Phil's day keeps playing over and over. Oh how so many people that can relate to the monotony of work, school, life.  He chose to do whatever he pleased because there weren't going to be any consequences in the end.  And we choose to watch the immorality right before our eyes as he makes love to someone who isn't his wife. We think it's funny, don't we? It satisfies our fleshly desires.  When sin has conceived it brings forth death.  Oh, and the gay guy 


Little gods.  The film is blatant about the fact of little gods. He viewed himself as immortal. Unable to die. Because he was the only one experiencing the same day over and over again, he took on the form of a god and used what was happening to his advantage (to get the girl, etc).


Good works.  I found it interesting that after he had figured out the system, how he figured out the girl, he knew all the right words to say, but knew that he had to establish good re-pore with the town (which would def get him the girl). He did so by doing good deeds.  So many people think we can attain life (eternal)  through good works.  But not without faith. Faith and works go hand and hand. 


Faith Believing.  One of the greatest takeaways from this film was the fact that Phil had faith (that he could get the girl) with good works. And the girl, Rita, believed in him. 


Well, I think I have more to say about all of this but that's the rough of it.

And so I write as words come. 

The Lord cherishes me. It's much deeper than caring. He deeply esteems me. He gave His life for ME.  His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. His ways are not my ways. Full reliance upon Him is necessary. Not optional. If one desires to walk in His ways, one must be fully surrendered to Him. He knows the intentions of our heart. He doesn't look on the outward appearance as man does. He doesn't look at what we've achieved, where we work, though those things have little importance. What matters in His eyes are the intentions. The consistent working out of our salvation, with fear and trembling. The realization that it takes labor. The realization that we are in the world, not of it. The realization that His opinion of us matters far more than what other people think.  He desires us to walk toward others with His eyes. Not how the world would view them.  Thank you Mike Bickle for allowing the Lord to speak through you.  

Everytime I listen to anything from IHOP I am always so encouraged.  It all fits together so perfectly.  One doesn't have to approach Scripture as if it's something they can't understand.  God has a plan and it's all laid out. I am so thankful the Lord is calling forth a remnant. A people set apart. One's who allow the Lord to speak through them.  

Psalm 15: 4 He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;

The importance of meditating on His Word.  This verse really stuck out to me.  The beginning of this Psalm asks the question, "Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle?" It then describes the character of those who may dwell and abide. 

He who swears to his own hurt and does not change. 

And does not change.  So I must accept that I've been hurt but not allow it to  change me. Not allow it to consumer me. To alter how I interact with others, what I do, what I say.  This truth became clear with how I reacted to Amy's death. 

Has this been that which has held me back? 

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Much. Less is more.

How my blog has sat stagnant for the last several months. Waiting. Much has happened since I last wrote. 


My mom discovered a book called One Thousand Gifts. Beauty in giving thanks is its essence. It inspires me to write. To see beauty in all things, especially the hard, the difficult, the ugly. 


My journey to thankfulness has been a slow beginning. But it began. Emotion- a stream of tears-came when this book provoked a dear brother in Christ to share, to heal---it produced a deep healing of the wounds a sister and friend left on the world she left behind. Thankfulness brings healing. Thankfulness reminds you of the good, not the bad. It doesn't diminish the bad it brings the good to the surface, like a light shining through darkened clouds.  His testimony of healing encouraged me to remember good. 


My friend became a mother. She now holds a life. A soul. A beloved little child. I was reminded today that our faith must be as a child to enter the kingdom of God. 


Rain pours outside my glass window. My room, decorated with lovely trinkets, books, vintage handmade cards, pressed flowers. I sit atop a cloud of white flowery petals and leaves, a blanket of warmth. The sound of popping is heard from the glass as the droplets of water hit my concrete yard. Heavy downpour. Stop. The sun doesn't have a chance to shine today, but it shines in my heart, He shines. His pleasure, filling, pouring. God above reminding me that as I pour out to Him, my heart, He is pouring into me.  I was reminded of this on a beautiful, not dreary day, Monday at Bible study.
Romans 5:5- "Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been POURED out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Always Reforming

I have so much to write that I'll be posting again, and though I've talked about consistency in blogging before, my hope is to truly be consistent and keep you all atune to all that God is stirring. My hope in the subsequent posts is to spur you on, to encourage you, to make you think, to call you to something more, to keep your eyes fixed upon Jesus. And among it all, blogging will allow me a great way of recording my thoughts and feelings in order that I might remind myself of the greatness and faithfulness of my God.

First off, I highly encourage REST to be one of the top priorities of your lifestyle. We must always be reforming which means we must always be assessing our lifestyle. Looking for ways to change, evaluating what we are doing and determining if what we are doing is actually working. Rest in order that you might LISTEN and THINK.
We must come to a place where we think about what we are thinking about. But in the thinking, take action. Begin to do. Begin to press through. Begin to PRAY.

If one must always be reforming, always changing, one must be steadfast in seeking the Lord.
One must have a full grasp on WHO he believes in WHY he believes in him and must die to the flesh DAILY. One must recognize that they as a Christian have the POWER and the AUTHORITY to no longer walk in the flesh and that they have power to cast out the pervasive darkness in the world through Christ.

Always reforming means your not thinking like the world is thinking. You're not doing what the world is doing. The means asssessing everything through the lens of Christ. This means taking apart Scripture, bit by bit. This means meditating. This means allowing God to change. This means allowing God to fill you. This means allowing God to pervade everything and change the way you view the media, music, government, politics, and every field and occupation. This means going AGAINST the worlds standards of success and fully grasping that success comes from the Lord. Fully grasping that we are called to be IN the world but not OF it. Which means coming to grips with being completely different. Coming to terms with a flesh that wars and a calling that asks for you to loose all that you might gain all. It's calling for a people who will ACT upon the Word of God instead of getting into a rut, becoming hopeless, and complacent. He's calling for a Bride who fully embraces her calling as the Bride. Who is so in Love with Christ. Who doesn't worry about tomorrow, who doesn't worry about having a husband. One who is eagerly preparing herself for the ultimate wedding day. One who cultivates a helpful, humble, gentle, quiet, loving (most of all) spirit. He is calling us as women to serve Him and Him alone and by serving Him to serve our families well. To find our high calling as daughers in our father's house. To beseech the Lord and ask Him for His heart for others. To be the hands and feet to those in the community, to those in the church (a topic for another day...so much to say), and to ultimately spread the Gospel by our influence in EVERY area of society.

I must close not but will write again soon.

2 Timothy 3:1-7

Flipping through my Bible this morning, I was trying to find all the places, in the New Testament, that talked about the end times. Specifically the signs of the times. My eyes fell upon the title in 2 Timothy 3- "Perilous Times and Perilous Men" it says the following:

3:1-7
"But know this, that in the last days perilous time will come:
For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women, loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Those in bold are what really stuck out to me. Reading it again, even more stick out to me as being so true in today's generation.
How interesting it is that this passage begins with men being lovers of themselves. One must love himself, but not to an extreme of loving himself so much that he loses sight of others and places so much emphasis on himself that he believes that he is able to do everything in his own strength. We must die to ourselves daily. We must know WHO we are in Christ and not label ourselves by the worlds standards. Who are we to think that we are something without Christ?

Onto those that stuck out to me the most:
Having a form of godliness but denying its power.
~ What comes to mind as I read this is religion. Pure religion instead of relationship. Labels. How we put a look and a label to christianity. How we say and do all the good and right things when God doesn't look at the outward appearance, He looks at our heart. This goes to the deepest core of relationship. A relationship with our Creator (and the list can go on and on about who God is), a relationship that embodies holiness and righteousness through Christ alone, and recognizing the power. The word form shows me that we literally have our own picture or structure of what godliness should look like which limits, confines and restrains its purpose and power. What is the power of godliness? I'll investigate this further and let you know my discoveries.....

Always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
~What a statement! To be honest, I've certainly felt this way before, but in the right sense. Learning from the Lord through His word and through confirmation from other people, but not actually stepping out and doing anything about it, or not completely knowing what to do with the information given to me. This statement contrasts this similiar feeling but ends with the fact of never being able to come to the knowledge of the truth. The very essense of the truth. In the verse after this it talks about how they resist the truth. Essentially, those who are always learning but never letting the truth sink in deep, instead putting their time and effort into learning more and more, when it comes down to coming to the full knowledge and understanding of the truth---Jesus said He is the way, the truth, and the life. Ultimately, the ability to come to the knowledge of the truth is deeply rooted in truly knowing Truth (Jesus/Father/Holy Spirit) not just with the mind but with the spirit, actually being able to live the truth, and walk in the fullness.

So, do we have a grasp of what godliness is? Are we walking in the godly manner outlined in Scripture and not the worlds form of godliness? Are we seeking Truth Himself to give us wisdom, knowledge, and understanding into who we are in Him, who He is, and how He desires us to walk in the knowledge He gives us as He draws us closer and calls us to be One with Himself?

You make everything NEW :)

My final test for spring semester is over and I'm gearing up for a dynamic session of Spanish this summer. Until then, I hope to blog what's going on in my heart as I eagerly look forward to the future.

This past week, I had the great opportunity to travel over 1300 miles to Tulsa OK to see my dear friend graduate from Oral Roberts University. My heart was filled with the Lord's peace though the entire trip. The Lord doesn't usually speak to me through visions or pictures, but on the first evening of our drive, I awoke from sleeping and the car was buzzing with anxiety, as our car was slowly driving through a terential bought of rain. The driver was the most anxious and was giving commands to the passenger to "Look for signs! Look for lodging!". Amongst all the comotionm the comical, hard to follow, British book on tape was still blaring in the foreground. Through all of this, I felt a peace. As I awoke from my dazy slumber, the clear picture came to mind of Jesus on the boat, sleeping. He was right in the middle of pouring rain from the tumultuous storm. I felt like Jesus at that moment. When all others around me were freaking out, I felt no anxiety, instead a sweet peace swept over me. The peace lingered the entirety of the trip though I felt irritated at times. I was refreshed by the unity and community I saw on the campus. I was greatly encouraged and moved to tears by the words of the graduates who had achieved the most outstanding student awards. Their words were filled with hope for the future and emboddied a clear picture of all that they had taken away from their college experience. I felt a strong witness of the spirit of the Lord as Oral Roberts vision was spoken several times during my stay. "Raise up your students to hear My voice, to go where My light is dim, where My voice is heard small, and My healing power is not known, even to the uttermost bounds of the earth. Their work will exceed yours, and in this I am well pleased."

I came away wanting to go to Oral Roberts but I'm pretty certain that's not where he would have me to go. But, I can be encouraged to see that there is a place that is walking in the ways of the Lord. My next post will be all about what I'm feeling stirred to press into this fall. I'd like to start blogging some insights into the Word as well.