More Goodness from the Lord

8/26/12

Today is Sunday. Our corporate day of rest.

I’m sitting in our freezing basement with our sunlight lamp streaming in so my body thinks it’s afternoon.  Earlier, the house above was abuzz with a late night cleaning escapade.

Morning breakfast: 12noon. Delicious bowl of oatmeal with a cup of coffee. Encouraging conversation with some daytime ladies about friendships. Jonathan and David. God caused Jonathan to love David. God puts people in our lives for a reason and He’s the author of friendships. He’s the greatest Friend. He’s got our story written out in it’s fullness. We don’t have to strive to maintain friendships and we don’t have to fear loosing friends. It brought tears to my eyes.

Our first core group meeting today. It’s just the three of us (me, Ashley and Leah-who’s our leader). Wegmans. The best grocery store/cafe ever.  This community is so real. Quick to repent, quick to love.

My roommate Megan and I went strolling down the lovely streets of downtown Fredericksburg and stopped into an adorable coffee shop bookstore and a  antique shoppes. We were on the quest to find The Space Trilogy by C.S Lewis. Our search came up empty but we came home with tea.

A dear friend from home called me and we talked for over an hour. Our conversation was interrupted several times by our connection, but we pressed on, and encouragement was given, the overflow of the affection of the Father was poured out, and heartstrings were knit.

Let’s see…since I last blogged on Thursday…we had an amazing Burn Service on Friday night. David Bradshaw brought the Word. Obedience. God desires His inheritance-us-and wants all of us. He wants 100% obedience. It’s good to receive from the Lord but we must think of the “I am my beloved” part of the equation. We must say yes. It’s not us doing it, it’s Him. Read Deuteronomy 30. Powerful stuff.  I cleaned toilets that were in desparate need of cleaning. Love to serve the body in practical ways.

….8/29/12

Yeah, I haven’t been very good about journaling every day. The Lord continues to move powerfully. Week 2 is going very well. They call it deliverance week though every day we are being delivered from something. I’m so thankful for the previous Inner Healing classes I took the last two semesters. They prepared me to receive the same information in a new outlook and setting.  Monday we talked about Father and Mother wounds. Our view of we God stems so strongely from our relationship with our parents. We were in the prayer room for 8 hours! . I know by the time we are done with this season, we will want to spend even more time in this sweet place of encounter. Powerful all staff set where the Lord was breaking off chains of bondage, romancing our hearts with His love (I’ve been asking the Lord to show me Himself as LOVER), and breaking off the orphan spirit. We also corporately interceeded for Israel-the beloved people close to God’s heart. A sweet memory of me and my siblings dancing in our basement rushed through my head as we began singing “Everything that, everything that, everything that has breath praise the Lord!”.  I also, in that moment, realized that I’ve just been viewing Jesus as Lord.  He hasn’t reached that place in my heart yet as the true Lover of my soul.  “We must live out of the overflow of the affection of the Father’s love”.

 Yesterday, was really ministering to my heart. We talked about inner vows, open doors we have open to the enemy, and generational curses and blessings.  We also discussed forgiveness, the occult, and sexual sins. Each HUGE topics but make my heart glad that we are getting rid of them. One of the huge takeaways was the following point: “A word about FEAR is usally a sign that there is an entry way in your life that produced fear. It may have been an open door of trauma. Ask the Lord, where did this fear come into my life?”

Time in the prayer room yesterday was also sweet. Right now, we don’t have a set format (we will next week), so most of our time in the prayer room has been spent before the Lord in personal devotion. 1 Corinthians 2:6-16. The entirety of this passage is amazing but verse 16 is especially amazing to me: For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him? BUT WE HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST. Dear ones, this is so powerful if we would just wrap our heads around this truth. We have HIS mind. It’s not us living inside us, it’s not our mind, it’s His. 

Today we will be working the Thrift store! I can’t wait!   

Alive and well

Hello dear Friends and family, 

Today is the first day I've been able to access the internet since my arrival at the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace. I am indeed alive and doing very well. Below are a few entries I've written that cover the last few days.  

8/19/12

Yesterday was the beginning of something new.

I woke up relaxed but sore. The previous day’s wedding engagement involved cutting grilled chicken with dull knives. A great workout for the shoulders and back.. yeah, not the best after my morning massage, but wonderful bonding time, through serving, with my friend Krystina. ;)

After my morning brew of coffee, I turned on the Spanish version of “You’ve Got A friend in me” from Toy Story 3.  It made my morning even happier.

I left my room to rest for 4 ½ months. All things in order.

My friend Dyland was so kind and gracious to offer his families vacuum for me to use to thoroughly clean out my car before the trip. Detail attachments and everything. A blessing. More order.

A run to the bank was my last stop before departure to the beautiful wooded land of Fredericksburg. All my finances deposited. Three one hundred dollar bills tucked nicely in a floral envelope. Provision from the Lord.  Completion.  

Barefoot, I loaded every piece of luggage and tote into my steamy blue car. The air held a slight breeze and the sky spoke of rain.

Sunny and slightly breezy as I drive down I-64. My eyes brim with tears as a dear friend texts “I love you” and wants to talk soon. My morning had been filled with other fair well texts and blessings for this new season.   

The words, divinely spoken God Words, I sensed going into this new season:

Expectation, Newness , Fullness. 

These same words were spoken to the group during our wonderful worship time together on this beautiful Sunday morning. Yes, confirmation that this is where I need to be.

I’m staying in the same intern house I visited when I came up for the Awaken the Dawn Conference. God is so good to place me in a familiar place. I’m staying in the basement and room with 2 other lovely ladies and a leader in another room. Our basement is fully furnished with kitchen and two bathrooms.  He also knows that I didn’t want to be in a room with lots of girls.

I’m doing the Night Watch (prayer between the hours of 12 midnight and 6am) but our schedule hasn’t switched to Night Watch quite yet (though as I write this it’s passed over to the midnight hour as I’m trying to slowly adjust).  We are all a family. The Night Watch ladies and daytime Burn ladies all stay in the same house and we’ve all been doing a lot of things together thus far. I absolutely love this. 

 To develop our family and build relationships, we played LOTS of games today.  Freeze was HILARIOUS. I laughed a lot.  It’s an acting game where you use props and develop a story, someone in the crowd yells freeze and jumps into one of the actors place. They could continue the story or change it completely.

After our game time we broke bread together (dinner) and watched the film titled “The Father of Lights”. This was the second time I had seen this movie and oh how it makes my heart glad! My faith for signs and miracles increases so much! Oh the Love of Jesus! And, my name, Elaine, means One of Light so anything having to do with spreading HIS Light really touches me to the core.  And knowing the Father. His deep, deep love for us. So powerful. Loving others out of the love you’ve received, the love that you know. I’d highly recommend it.

8/20/12

As my roommate Megan warned me my first night---All that you receive will be like a fire hose. A washing of water by the WORD.

Well, she was right.

Our first class with David Bradshaw today was powerful. Yes and Amen on every point.  These gatherings in a classroom aren’t to attain information. Oh no! Our desire isn’t to just get more good information our desire is for encounter. Encounter with the Living One and Only God.

One of the things that make me SO glad about all of this is the fact that they are giving us the raw truth. They desire a people to run hard after God, they desire a fascinated Bride, one who is captivated by her Beloved.  And they know fully that with this knowledge, with understanding and revelation, a generation will be rocked to the core. Lives will be completely changed.  I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am for what’s coming.  Guys, this is only day 2!   

I must tell my heart to not overanalyze, but yield to God. 

I remembered the binder cover I had personalized when I began college back in 2007. It clearly depicted my heart at 18.  Psalm 27. “One Thing have I desired of the Lord, that One thing will I seek, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple.”

I was struck by the reason why we engage in sin. Why we settle for a pleasure far less than what is attainable in Christ (fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore!).  We choose this lesser thing because we deceive ourselves into thinking that we are missing out on some form of pleasure.

The desire for fascination and pleasure is to be fulfilled by CHRIST. We shouldn’t be apologizing or repenting from the desire for pleasure.  And our desire for pleasure is way too weak as we settle for lesser things.

Obedience, coming into agreement of His nature, is the highway to pleasure.

The beauty found in this realm on earth is just a picture of the beauty in His realm.

A religious spirit. It’s basically lack of the knowledge of God and it’s demonic. We claim to KNOW this Man, when we really don’t know Him.

 Do we desire to be undone before Him? Undone. Fully surrendered. Fully exposed.

Don’t despise the mundane moments in seeking the Lord.  Ah, this really spoke to me.  How often I don’t press in long enough? We are living in a generation where we like to microwave everything. We want quick results, quick solutions. We don’t know how to wait, how to be still, how to silent all other voices.

What He’s asking is simple. Give yourself FULLY to the knowledge of God and don’t look at your progress right away.  Stare. Gaze. Look. Meditate. Behold. We see in a mirror DIMELY. 

8/23/12
My time thus far has been AMAZING.  The Lord has been moving in mighty ways.  My schedule hasn't fully switched over to a night schedule yet. We will be in the prayer room till 3am all of this week and next and then will fully transition to the 6am schedule.  Today is really the first day I'm really feeling the groggyness of going to bed at 3:30am. BUT, I didn't wake up at 7-7:30am like I've been doing since I arrived. :) 

Tuesday, my roomate Ashley moved in. She's bunking on the top and has to climb into her bed WITHOUT a ladder.  We had a POWERFUL teaching with Randy Martinez from Joel 2. We began our class crying out to the Lord for help. That He would give to us the spirit of wisdom, revelation, and the knowledge of Him, we asked for His help to understand, to focus.  Which turned into a powerful time of prayer. Randy asked if anyone had a difficult birth.  I had heard most of the teaching that he gave, but it was great hearing it again.  At the end of class another outpouring of the spirit came, and we began to travail on behalf of the babies.  I cried a deep cry from within, as deep crying out to deep. Just the weight of His heart and desire to partner fully with it.  

Yesterday, we had orientation at the Thrift store.  Kingdom building work. All the money that is earned goes directly into the house of prayer. The thrift store is located at the Event Center where the house of prayer holds all their events and seminars.  Once we get into our 6am schedule, we will be working the thrift store once a week in the evening.  I LOVE thrift stores and am so glad we are going to be able to serve in this way. 

Today, here in a few minutes, I'll be meeting with my Stand by Night family. There are 8 of us total with leaders. We'll have just a short time of debriefing and then class at 3 with the Burn Internship family. :) The girls are all amazing! Dinner at 5:30 (which is my lunch but we call it dinner), and then a lunch at around 11:30pm,  

Expecting great things from the Father today. Love you all! 

Meditate

MED'ITATE, v.i. [L. meditor.] 1. To dwell on any thing in thought; to contemplate; to study; to turn or revolve any subject in the mind; appropriately but not exclusively used of pious contemplation, or a consideration of the great truths of religion. His delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law doth he meditate day and night. Ps.1. How I love Noah Webster's 1812 Dictionary. He uses the Bible as His example (imagine that!).  "The Law of Your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold, sweeter than honey...Open up my eyes that I may see wonderful things from Your law" This familiar (to some) tune (from Chris Carter) is taken from Psalm 119. I love songs that are set to Scripture.  Do we truly meditate enough? I know I don't. Do we treat the Word of God like food. Have we fully wrapped our heads around the fact that without it we can't live? Must we wonder why we feel the way we feel, why we do the things we can't seem to stop doing, why we can't find the answers or peace in other things, when we don't seek the one who says to knock and He'll answer! Meditation. Thought on One Thing. Jesus. His Word.  On His law do we meditate day and night. This is constant, all day, all night thought on the living Word. The food that completely satisfies, fills, transforms, orders our steps, takes away evil desires of the flesh.  I'm ready to delve deep into the Stream. I'm ready to think about what I read and really believe these precious Words. Let the Words permeate my entire being in order that I may desire nothing else, be consumed with nothing else. That others would see Christ in me.  Rest. He calls His beloved to rest. And so shall I.

10 days

I like today's date. 8/8/12.  Even numbers. Restful. The end of something good to start something new. Today marks 10 days till I embark, surrender, open wide the gates, fully plunge into the river of Living Water, drink deep, maybe lack sleep but certainly find full rest in Christ.  

Yes, I'll be leaving for the beautiful hills of Northern Virginia to immerse myself in the Word, to sit before my Maker, the One who holds all of my life and plans in His hands, to partner with others towards One thing, the only thing in life that matters---seeking Christ's purpose, Jesus' heart for this broken world, and loving Him with ALL. 

I'm so expectant.  

New things.

Good things. 

Spirit falling afresh and anew. 

He's already showed me how He can provide. He's teaching me patience. He's showing me that direction is coming. Trust Me, He says. 

I'll try my best to post updates here with all the Lord is doing while I'm away. 

Your prayers and friendship mean so much to me.

a few spare moments

Well, I totally didn't plan to blog exactly 1 month after I blogged last time. I just had a few spare moments to myself. It's just me and the house. I love these nights. Quiet and still. The fan spinning. The computer humming. Alone time with me. The house smells of waffles.  I've been too busy. Again. The cycle. Too many late nights and early mornings. 

So since my last post, I've decided to go to the Stand by Night Internship at the Prayer Furnace in Fredricksburg.  The time is now. If I were to wait any longer, it just wouldn't be right. I feel like this internship will be the catalyst, the launching point, to point me in the exact place the Lord want's me. And I thought that was more fully in the House of Prayer. But, I'm beginning to think it's something different. My heart will be with the house of prayer and I will be involved to some degree, but I know there is something more. Something much more that hasn't been shown to me yet. I'm really in a place where I must fully trust the Lord in a time where there is no specifics given and money needed.  He is my Provider so I won't worry. I'll remember His faithfulness to me. And as a Beloved sister in Jesus reminded me yesterday, it's His heart that I must have, not just my heart, because in the end, doing things in my own strength will result in weariness, discouragement, lack of focus, and zeal.  I MUST have His heart and walk in HIS ways (for they aren't my ways, nor are they my thoughts).  But, I have the mind of Christ. Yes, dear ones, we have the mind of Christ.  

God is speaking. And it's really cool. A wedding/ Discernment for the one/ A bold voice/one who is a leader in the ending of abortion/the weight of His glory/mothering and loving the broken 

I'm excited about what the Lord is going to do in this next season. And the season to come. 

Takeaways from Groundhog Day

I've had quite a lot of downtime the last few days as I've been resting. In all my resting I've watched several episodes of Monk (much could be said about this show as well) and watched the film Groundhog Day. 


Well, there are several, yes, several, takeaways and thoughts I have from this film.


We must remember: 
"Whatever things are true, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, THINK on these things." Philipians 4



Weather men.  How much trust we place in them! We (the church) are more concerned with the weather than preparing ourselves for THE hour. When instead we should be waking up to realize the season we are living in, the season that will come, walking in hope rather than in fear. 


Groundhogs. Really? Yes, it's a funny thing most of us don't believe in, but there are those out there that really do.  They BELIEVE in groundhogs. Do we want to be a people walking in reality or do we so often place ourselves in situations where we laugh at what is not reality? and thus put our approval on what is not reality  


Immorality. So, Phil's day keeps playing over and over. Oh how so many people that can relate to the monotony of work, school, life.  He chose to do whatever he pleased because there weren't going to be any consequences in the end.  And we choose to watch the immorality right before our eyes as he makes love to someone who isn't his wife. We think it's funny, don't we? It satisfies our fleshly desires.  When sin has conceived it brings forth death.  Oh, and the gay guy 


Little gods.  The film is blatant about the fact of little gods. He viewed himself as immortal. Unable to die. Because he was the only one experiencing the same day over and over again, he took on the form of a god and used what was happening to his advantage (to get the girl, etc).


Good works.  I found it interesting that after he had figured out the system, how he figured out the girl, he knew all the right words to say, but knew that he had to establish good re-pore with the town (which would def get him the girl). He did so by doing good deeds.  So many people think we can attain life (eternal)  through good works.  But not without faith. Faith and works go hand and hand. 


Faith Believing.  One of the greatest takeaways from this film was the fact that Phil had faith (that he could get the girl) with good works. And the girl, Rita, believed in him. 


Well, I think I have more to say about all of this but that's the rough of it.

And so I write as words come. 

The Lord cherishes me. It's much deeper than caring. He deeply esteems me. He gave His life for ME.  His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. His ways are not my ways. Full reliance upon Him is necessary. Not optional. If one desires to walk in His ways, one must be fully surrendered to Him. He knows the intentions of our heart. He doesn't look on the outward appearance as man does. He doesn't look at what we've achieved, where we work, though those things have little importance. What matters in His eyes are the intentions. The consistent working out of our salvation, with fear and trembling. The realization that it takes labor. The realization that we are in the world, not of it. The realization that His opinion of us matters far more than what other people think.  He desires us to walk toward others with His eyes. Not how the world would view them.  Thank you Mike Bickle for allowing the Lord to speak through you.  

Everytime I listen to anything from IHOP I am always so encouraged.  It all fits together so perfectly.  One doesn't have to approach Scripture as if it's something they can't understand.  God has a plan and it's all laid out. I am so thankful the Lord is calling forth a remnant. A people set apart. One's who allow the Lord to speak through them.  

Psalm 15: 4 He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;

The importance of meditating on His Word.  This verse really stuck out to me.  The beginning of this Psalm asks the question, "Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle?" It then describes the character of those who may dwell and abide. 

He who swears to his own hurt and does not change. 

And does not change.  So I must accept that I've been hurt but not allow it to  change me. Not allow it to consumer me. To alter how I interact with others, what I do, what I say.  This truth became clear with how I reacted to Amy's death. 

Has this been that which has held me back? 

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